Man Arrested for Having Sexual Relations With His Bicycle

OK -What is the world coming to? A man in Glasgow, Scotland was caught in the privacy of his hostile room with his pants down humping his bicycle. The cleaning staff knocked on the door and when there was no answer they proceeded to enter the room only to find the man naked from the waste down wearing nothing but a white T-shirt and hunching his bicycle as if to "simulate" sex. The cleaning crew freaked out and called the manager who eventually called the police. Now however odd it may seem I am not surprised by the bicycle incident. Many men love their cars more than their partners (or so I've heard) so what is the difference if they are in love with their 2 wheeled vehicle. Women everywhere have sexual relations with in-animate objects (I think they call them Vibrators), they sell latex butts and latex snatches and even latex "dongs" for the pleasure of people everywhere who choose to have sex and include the use of inanimate objects. No one gets arrested. I know people who have humped their pillows in moments of desperation, or when children are "finding themselves" they hunch their teddy bears only to shock their unsuspecting mothers. Thing is non of these are offenses which I believe should be punishable by arrest or entry onto a sex offender registry for any period of time. There are of course two exceptions to this rule for me: 1 - the bike (or any inanimate object files charges at the police station); 2 - the offense is committed in a public place where the person committing said offense could not possibly have a reasonable expectation of privacy. I'm wondering why in the hell someone would arrest a dude for "doin it" with his bike and put him on a sex offender registry as opposed to just simply gossiping about his weirdness eventually landing him on a social outcast registry. No wonder people are freaking out about homosexuality if they are sooooo busy getting into the business of a man who chooses to have sexual relations with inanimate objects what freedom could there be after that? The Gestapo may be at our homes governing how we make use of our flyswatters making sure they are only used for flys and forcing someone to invent separate swatters for each thing we want to swat.

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